As the year closes and a new one begins, I shall repeat my one great word of wisdom to everyone who will listen and embrace it with the vigour that I do and not think of me as nothing but a lazy fuck.
Here's to 'working' only 6 months a year. And this is how I, genius of all geniuses, arrive at it.
September: we have the F1. The whole country goes into a freaking frenzy. Roads are closed, money is spent, parties are held, people are happy.
October: brings us to Halloween month. Supermarkets and shops are decked with skulls and pumpkins and monsters come 1st Oct. Everything's black and orange. I love it. Halloween is the precursor to Christmas.
November: the first signs of reindeer and snowmen appear in the malls. Supermarkets are all tinseled out and the Raffles breaks out its red bows. Christmas is upon us.
December: the best month of the year. Hallelujah!
January: Christmas is over (bah!) but there's Chinese New Year to look forward to next month. Cookies are hawked, red underwear is bought, the smell of sweet meat in the air. One cannot help but feel a smidgen of smugness over those who don't have CNY.
February: CNY in full swing. I hate it, but hey it's a holiday. The family gets together for yet another feast. My mother is in her element.
Which leaves us March, April, May, June, July, Aug to get through. These are the months I'm most likely to slit my wrists and stick pins in my eyes.
But then September comes again. And we'll always have Christmas.